7 Relationship RED FLAGS You Should NEVER Ignore

About this video

Kegley presents seven red flags as his personal standards for serious, committed relationships, not the early texting phase, and encourages viewers to make their own list. First, sketchy close friends, because he argues you become like the people around you, illustrated by a past relationship where blow-up fights traced back to a partner’s friends’ ideas. Second, a history of infidelity or cheating without complete ownership, guilt and apology — justifying it as lacking something is, in his view, a reason not to proceed. Third, obsession with social media for validation and image, which he links to dopamine, self-esteem and unrealistic expectations; he argues Instagram functions like a dating app for many people and says he personally sees refusal to make an account private as a flag, while distinguishing business or close-friend use. Fourth, a track record where every ex is described as toxic or narcissistic, which he says ignores that the person was half of each relationship. Fifth, the ‘Fixer-Upper’ — dating someone for their potential rather than who they are, an idea he attributes to a famous marriage counselor’s book, compounded by rose-colored glasses early on. Sixth, mismatched core values on topics like kids, politics, boundaries and what counts as cheating, summed up as ’love might fade but values don’t.’ Seventh, and most important to him, a partner who feeds your lowest self instead of bringing out your best, 2.0 version — discouraging the gym, friends, or new passions rather than building you up.

Key takeaways

• Kegley’s first flags are a partner’s close friend circle and any past cheating that is justified rather than fully owned with guilt and apology.
• He treats social media obsession for strangers’ validation as a flag, separate from using platforms for business or staying in touch with close friends.
• A pattern of calling all exes toxic or narcissistic is a flag because, in his framing, the speaker was 50 percent of every one of those relationships.
• Dating someone for their potential — the Fixer-Upper — and mismatched core values on kids, boundaries and other non-negotiables will not, he argues, resolve with marriage or time.
• His final test is whether the person brings out your 2.0 self, encouraging training, friendships and passions, or drags you toward your 1.0 self.

Episode details: published February 27, 2023 · 10:13 long. Summary written by Self Growth Videos from the episode itself. Business results and any income figures mentioned are Clark Kegley’s own claims, shared for education — they are not typical or guaranteed.

← Previous: 5 Pieces of Bad Life Advice I’m Glad I Never Followed · Next: I Quit Alcohol for 365 Days (why I’m NEVER going back) →

All Clark Kegley videos · Clark Kegley profile · Clark Kegley on YouTube