How to Get Over A Breakup (or Ex)

About this video

Clark Kegley discusses breakups, saying emotional pain registers in the same part of the brain as physical pain, and frames two options afterward. Option one, the default, is to stay put: the ego loves drama and generates stories such as never finding someone as good, being unlovable, or waiting for an ex to return and realize what they missed. He recounts spending two or three years of high school trying to become successful to win back a girl who had returned to an ex; they never spoke again beyond that conversation. Option two is to use the breakup as a breakthrough by channeling its potential energy constructively instead of destructively. He says after college he was, by his account, $30,000 in debt, living in his mom’s basement, fired from jobs, and left by his girlfriend of two to three years, which sparked him to go all in on YouTube. His principle is ’tens attract tens’: you do not manifest what you want, you manifest who you are, so becoming a higher-level version of yourself attracts higher-quality partners. As a practical challenge he tells viewers to list three to five things they have always wanted to do but put off, and throw themselves into one — citing his own eight-hour-a-day drumming after relationships — to build confidence. He also promotes his six-week Metamorphic coaching program for creating a 2.0 self.

Key takeaways

• After a breakup the default is staying put, driven by ego stories about being unlovable or waiting for an ex to return.
• Waiting to win an ex back can waste years; Kegley says his high-school ex never returned.
• Breakup pain is neutral potential energy that can be used constructively or destructively.
• You attract who you are, not just what you want, so raising yourself to a higher level attracts higher-quality partners.
• List three to five postponed interests and throw yourself into one to rebuild confidence through doing new things.

Episode details: published October 4, 2021 · 13:05 long. Summary written by Self Growth Videos from the episode itself. Business results and any income figures mentioned are Clark Kegley’s own claims, shared for education — they are not typical or guaranteed.

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