How To Stop Caring What People Think of You (6 Game-Changing Tips)

About this video

Kegley reframes stopping caring what people think as a trainable skill, not about becoming apathetic. Caring evolved because banishment from a tribe meant death, and social awareness can help careers and relationships; the problem is caring too much. His tips include not valuing opinions of people you do not respect and not taking criticism from people you would not take advice from; remembering the spotlight effect — illustrated by a nervous gym newcomer — that people are too focused on themselves to scrutinize you; using humor and playfulness to diffuse seriousness; and, from his experience 800 days after giving up drinking, realizing alcohol had masked low-grade social anxiety by blunting self-consciousness, so the antidote is shifting focus outward by being interested instead of interesting. He also advocates radical self-acceptance, citing the pratfall effect where mistakes make competent people more likable, and the mirror principle: if you fear judgment, practice non-judgment of others and yourself for one week.

Key takeaways

• Don’t value the opinions of those you don’t respect, and don’t take criticism from people you wouldn’t take advice from
• Remember the spotlight effect: people are mostly worried about themselves, not watching or judging you
• Use humor and self-deprecating playfulness to break intensity when you catch yourself taking things too seriously
• Be interested instead of interesting — take focus off yourself and put it on other people to reduce self-consciousness
• Practice radical self-acceptance and a one-week non-judgment challenge, watching for ‘shoulds’ toward others and yourself

Episode details: published March 21, 2024 · 13:40 long. Summary written by Self Growth Videos from the episode itself. Business results and any income figures mentioned are Clark Kegley’s own claims, shared for education — they are not typical or guaranteed.

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