How to Succeed at Hard Conversations | Chris Voss

About this video

Former FBI lead crisis negotiator Chris Voss, author of Never Split the Difference, teaches how to handle hard conversations and negotiations in business and in familial, work, and romantic relationships. Voss emphasizes paying attention to emotions, both others’ and your own, to judge whether you are processing what you hear accurately and being heard accurately. In the excerpted segment, Voss argues against fixed readings of body language, saying cues are completely contextual, and he recommends noticing a shift in someone’s affect and checking it with an observation such as noting that something seems to have crossed their mind, rather than assuming what it meant. He explains that labels, mirrors, and open-ended questions revisit ground because negotiators inevitably miss information the first time. The episode also covers stamina over long negotiations and detecting deception with probe questions.

Key takeaways

• Voss teaches negotiators to attend to their own and others’ emotions to judge whether they are hearing and being heard accurately.
• Voss argues body-language cues are contextual and should be checked rather than assigned a fixed meaning.
• Voss recommends voicing an observation when someone shifts, instead of assuming what the shift meant.
• Voss explains labels, mirrors, and open-ended questions revisit ground because information is missed the first time.
• Voss discusses stamina and using probe questions to assess deception, Huberman notes.

Episode details: published October 2, 2023 · 4.3M views · 2:53:29 long. Summary written by Self Growth Videos from the episode itself. The science and protocols described are Andrew Huberman’s, presented for education — not medical advice. Consult a qualified professional before changing your own health practices.

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