Don Miguel Ruiz: Check an Assumption Before Reacting
A teammate replies “fine” to your proposal.
Choose, practice, reflectA practical lesson
The Lesson
A teammate replies “fine” to your proposal. You read the word as annoyance and begin preparing a defensive answer. Before reacting to a meaning you have inferred, check what you know and what you are guessing.
Don Miguel Ruiz includes avoiding assumptions among the Four Agreements. This idea comes from his Toltec-inspired spiritual teaching. An ordinary ambiguous message offers a place to practice clarification. The Four Agreements, official book page. Don Miguel Ruiz, official biography.
Brief messages leave room for interpretation. Tone, timing and context can be missing. You may have a plausible interpretation, but it is still different from an explicit statement. A clarification question can reduce confusion when the relationship and situation make asking appropriate.
Do not use uncertainty to excuse repeated behavior or dismiss a concern supported by evidence. The exercise is for a modest ambiguity, not a reason to ignore what someone has clearly done or said. You can ask, observe and make your own decision about how to respond.
Reflection
- What did the person actually say or do?
- What meaning have I added?
- What respectful question would clarify the practical issue?
Practice
This is an original SelfGrowthVideos exercise inspired by the ideas above.
- Write the observable message or event separately from your interpretation.
- List another plausible explanation without deciding it is true.
- Ask a brief clarification question when suitable.
- Update your understanding using the answer, or acknowledge that you still do not know. Choose your response accordingly.
For the one-word reply, you might ask: “Does that mean you are ready for me to use this version, or is there something you would like changed?” The question clarifies the work instead of asking the person to defend an emotion you have assigned to them.
Review
Afterward, compare the answer with your first interpretation. What did you learn? Did the question address the issue? If no answer arrives, decide what reasonable next step fits the situation rather than filling the gap with a new certainty.
Go Deeper
Explore the Don Miguel Ruiz teacher profile and the Philosophy learning hub. Choose one related idea to try before collecting more material.