Nedra Glover Tawwab: State an Ordinary Time Boundary Clearly
A friend often calls when you have planned to study.
Choose, practice, reflectA practical lesson
The Lesson
A friend often calls when you have planned to study. You value the friendship, but you have not explained when you are available. Start with a clear statement of your time and a realistic option for connecting.
Nedra Glover Tawwab’s Set Boundaries, Find Peace discusses expressing needs and establishing boundaries. For an ordinary scheduling issue, you can start by stating the time you are able to offer. Set Boundaries, Find Peace, official book page. About Nedra Glover Tawwab.
An availability statement concerns what you can offer. It should not depend on making the other person agree that your goal is important enough. You can explain your schedule briefly and offer another time if you genuinely want to. Avoid offering an alternative you cannot sustain.
Other people may feel disappointed or ask for flexibility. Listen, then decide what you can reasonably do. A clear boundary does not require hostility. It also does not guarantee a pleasant response, so choose an ordinary context where a straightforward conversation is appropriate.
Reflection
- Which time do I need to protect?
- What can I realistically offer instead?
- Have I made my availability clear or expected someone to guess?
Practice
This is an original SelfGrowthVideos exercise inspired by the ideas above.
- Choose a small, specific scheduling problem.
- Write an availability statement using a clear time or condition.
- Add one alternative if you want to offer it, without a long defense of your decision.
- Communicate the statement in a suitable conversation and follow your stated availability as consistently as circumstances permit.
You might say: “I am studying from seven to eight tonight and will not be answering calls then. I can call tomorrow after work.” If your schedule changes, communicate the change rather than leaving the other person to infer it.
Review
Later, ask whether the wording was understandable and the alternative was realistic. Did you need a reminder, a different time or a clearer expectation? Revise the arrangement without turning one uncomfortable conversation into a judgment about the whole relationship.
Go Deeper
Explore the Nedra Glover Tawwab teacher profile and the Confidence learning hub. Choose one related idea to try before collecting more material.