Positive Attributes About: My Life
Day 3: Listing the positive attributes about my life experience
Life is long and full of things wanted and not so much wanted. Here is a rant about me and It’s not all positive but has led me to this place where I am looking withing daily.
My life has been good and has taught me many things. I am 50 years old and have many talents and abilities. I have played many roles in my life. I attended a religious school which hurt me but focusing on the good it taught me many morals and values. Religion was not for me and taught me to fear God. I am Spiritual now and find God is love, not judgment. The school taught me right and wrong in a very strict way which has created a line between what I should do and shouldn’t do. After I left that Christian School, I went to public school for 3 years till graduation. I met my first love there and even though she broke my heart, I did love her fully. I almost got married and it would have led to divorce. We were young and being young I could not see what she wanted from me or from her life. She was not faithful and that caused our breakup and ultimately left a child without a Father. To this day I don’t know if the baby she had is mine or someone else’s. For all of that, I hope someday to know for sure but the pain of that experience leaves me paralyzed. I wonder what I would say to her. I feel so bad that all this was left alone. Her family threatened me and I ran away. I always believed what OI was told and that she was another baby.When I see pictures of her I am devastated. I feel lost and I feel I was cheated out of a great thing, her. For all of this, I am still grateful for I may have been a horrible Father. perhaps it all would have led to a greater heartache. I have met many married couples that hate each other and the kids suffer for it.Perhaps it all worked out for the best or maybe I just will never know. I trust in God to sort this out and perhaps we live thousands of versions of this life and in many we were complete.I find it of great challenge to forgive Tiffany. I wish her well and at the same time hope she falls and breaks her ass. I pray for a day of clarity on this. I pray that Gabby finds herself and is strong and healthy. I hope she finds success and happiness and that my absence is not a brick in her world.As a young man, I had many jobs. I would say I had well over 100. I have many skills today that I did not have then and it has become easy to just get by.I have a background in home repair and plumbing and I am damn good at these things. I started my first business when I was 24 and have worked primarily for myself ever since.There are good things and bad things about running your own show. I would say that bad is less than in that I don’t have a pension to fall back on. The good is the massive skills and determination that having to push through and complete projects to someone’s satisfaction has given to me. I am grateful for all the struggle. It has forged a spirit that won’t quit. I am strong and today I am in the best shape of my life. I believe in me more than most people believe in anything.My life has been hard but I feel that it has taught me to survive and I may not have made it through any other way. I trust the universe to know what is best and that may not always be true.I have several businesses that I am building up these days. None really are booming but each has the potential to boom and provide so much more than a paycheck.I live in Florida and it’s warm almost every day of the year. I have lived in a half dozen places like Pennsylvania, Colorado, Hawaii, and more. Each has had its own ups and downs but has shaped me somehow.I have been fat and skinny. Without opportunity and with. I have had faith, lost it, and then regained it in a more powerful way. I have truly come so far!Like the story of the baby elephant who can’t break free of the rope, I am not that baby anymore. I easily break free of my bound and for all of this, I am grateful. I have spent many years alone and in it, I have found both madness and serenity. I have been lonely and somehow conquered that feeling while still being alone. I like myself and all that I have discovered, fallen prey to, or risen above.Today I am grateful for my struggle and someday I will rewrite this so it’s a lot more positive. For now, it is all I have to give and it has brought me here to this moment.This moment has me in a nice house, with lots of extras. It’s not a mansion but it is nice and comfortable. I have extra rooms and a remodeled kitchen. I am comfortable here.